


I Have No Clue What To Title This

by Mrs_SimonTam_PHD



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bottom!Lucifer, Look IDK how else to tag this, M/M, Nothing explicit, Or that comes close, This is also from almost 3 years ago lol, Top!Sam, complete and utter crack, crackfic, this is a crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 10:05:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17057759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD/pseuds/Mrs_SimonTam_PHD
Summary: A Samifer Crackfic





	I Have No Clue What To Title This

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so. 
> 
> This was written like 3 years ago. On March 21, 2016. So might as well have been 3 years ago
> 
> According to a note on the doc, this is partially @treasureseven's fault because I had shared a line of fic and. .. well, it got mistranslated. So I wrote the fic and probably posted it to tumblr. 
> 
> I just found it again while looking for a different crackfic. 
> 
> So let's go back to when I was a criminal justice major and share this fic.
> 
> I think we can all use a laugh.

Lucifer and Sam did not have a normal sex life. 

That’s not to say that they weren’t normal, but they weren’t. 

I mean, one of them  _ is  _ named Lucifer. 

*Insert Satanic ritual here*

Okay, now that we  _ haven’t  _ summoned Satan. . . . Let’s talk about his sex life. Well, not  _ his  _ specifically, but a sexy blonde named Lucifer. 

Their sex life was the furthest thing from normal. 

They were into a crap ton of kinky stuff. 

Really kinky things. 

Like whips and chains and stuffs like that. 

Because Sam is a very nice man and Lucifer’s not as nice, everyone would assume that Lucifer would be sticking his stick into Sam’s rump. 

They would be wrong. 

It’s Sam’s stick that goes into Lucifer’s rump. 

And when Sam is in the bedroom, he’s not the nicest man. 

There are rumors that Lucifer’s a whiny little submissive bitch. 

Lucifer neither confirms nor denies those. 

Sam started those rumors. 

Sam’s actually a very nice man. Just usually not when Lucifer’s begging for him. 

But they are kinky and it’s hot. 

They like to perform for others. 

But this isn’t one of those fics. 

This is a fic about when Sam Not So Nice Sexy Man took a break from Sam Not So Nice Sexy Man and became Sam Nice Sexy Man for the space of about two minutes while he’s aiming to get balls deep inside Lucifer’s Dead Body. 

Wait. 

Not Lucifer’s Dead Body. 

Lucifer’s not Dead. 

Lucifer’s very much Alive. At least if the noises behind the Pretty Blue Big Ball Gag and the tears in the Pretty Blue Eyes That Sam Likes To Make Cry are anything to go by. Sam likes making his Whiny Little Submissive cry. His Pretty Blue Eyes That Sam Likes To Make Cry get even bluer.

_ Why is Sam typing in third person?  _

Wait

Am I Sam or am I me?

_ What if I’m Nobody?  _

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on the hellsite! @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell. You can also find me on Twitter @Alendra_Dragon. 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are Shiny!!


End file.
